Written last 5/16/2012
This might be an explanation on why I cannot maintain a blog. I rarely write and publish them over the internet and the reason behind this is visible in the five words used as a title for this post. And yes, this is also the reason why I am writing this post. I cannot publish this today but I will as soon as I go online. That is another reason, I do not have a regular internet connection for I am only using a broadband and it is summer so basically, I’m broke. But let us disregard that reason for that is the last thing that bothers me at the moment.
Going back at the first reason given, I just observed it because immediately after I came upon this dejecting situation, I took my pen, made an outline of this post and started typing it as I’m doing right now and that is my problem. I’m a jolly person and I can laugh about anything as long as I want to. And given my “talent” that only shines whenever I’m opposite the person most people think I am, I always end up not completing the works I’ve started because just as I am starting to be this grief-affected writer, I start smiling out of nowhere and right then and there, I lose the urge to write or finish something I’ve been writing.
Okay, so right now I’m beginning to see sunshine, smileys and everything else that has a connection with optimism but I’m fighting it just so I could finish this post. *sigh* I’m a bad writer. I can’t force myself to be unhappy because I want to write. I need that force to make me create written outputs despite my happiness. I need to be a better writer. Yes, better because I believe I’m preliminarily a good one. (Hehe! Confidence is a must. LOL!)
I want to join The Polis again but I need to work harder. I need to write without struggling to finish an article. I want to be that writer capable of producing great compositions enabling my name to be seen in The Flame or The Varsitarian as one of its staffers. I want to write for a broadsheet too, I want to buy a magazine because I’ve written something in there. I want to write a novel which will later on be known as a best-seller. I want to write more, I want to be better and it starts now.🙂